Janvier

Janvier {I know I'm not French, but I wanted to add a little pizzazz to my first blog post of 2018}

Happy New Year, one and all!

2017 was busy and brilliant, but somehow I think that 2018 might just cut it as the best one yet. I cannot believe that this is the year we are getting married! Blimey.

I love January. Of course Christmas is great, but I personally always look forward to peeling back the front page of the calendar and seeing the new year stretching out ahead of us. It's full of opportunity, wonderful things to come, and inevitably some mystery too.

I wrote about my resolutions last year, and the pressure we often have to perform perfectly once the clock strikes midnight on the 1st. To combat this pressure, I kept my 2017 resolutions sweet, simple and silly, and whilst I succeeded very well at some {for example, cooking new recipes and improving my skin} I was absolutely abysmal at watching more films and signing up to Netflix...

It was when I looked back at resolution number two that I was hit with a wave of sadness: "Think of something positive at the end of each day." Later in the year, as many of you will know, I ironically battled with moderate {and very sudden onset} depression and anxiety. It was overwhelming and terrifying, and I still get upset now when I look back at what I wrote at the time and remember how I was feeling. But it's part of my history, part of my journey in getting to where I am now, and I constantly remind myself that I mustn't be ashamed, embarrassed, or regret what happened. It is what it is.

So why am I looking back at the darkest moments of 2017, instead of the happy ones? Because I want to emphasise that despite my ambitions and goals going slightly awry last time round, I'm still approaching this year with just as positive an attitude as before.

Life can be utterly rubbish. It can kick you in the shins, then slap you in the face once you're bent over double. But do you know what? It can be bloody brilliant too. 

I can't wait to go on a cold and crisp walk in the Cotswolds with Mr MM this weekend. I can't wait for his birthday in February and our anniversary soon after. We'll be celebrating Mama Maggie May's birthday in March, and Easter in April. I'll be scoffing cream teas during the May bank holidays, as always, and relaxing in the sunshine with a good book and pint of Pimm's in the summer. By August I'll be excitedly panicking about our upcoming nuptials, and then laughing the worries away with my hens in September. October will hopefully bring one of the happiest days of our life so far {our wedding!}, followed by our first winter nestled by the fire as husband and wife.

I can't wait to get started.